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You are here: Home / Thursday Post / Are You Holding Back?

May 19, 2016 by Junkies Leave a Comment

Are You Holding Back?

Do you consider yourself a “risk taker?”

Ask any Miss America winner if she had to take a risk at some point on her journey to winning the national title, and I’m guessing you’ll get plenty of “yes” votes!

article-2422531-1BDBA82C000005DC-946_634x849
Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

Interestingly enough, sometimes the biggest risk any contestant takes isn’t necessarily in regards to their talent, wardrobe, or platform – No, it’s usually a bit bigger than that…

Usually, the biggest risk comes when you confront the person you think you “should be” in order to win the title, verses the person you currently “are” – and then requiring that you make a choice between the two.

Therein lies the real risk. Being willing to just be yourself.

Michael Ein - The Press of Atlantic City
Michael Ein – The Press of Atlantic City

WHAT DO PEOPLE SEE?

If you’re like me, you guard yourself on a pretty regular basis. You ‘manage’ how people see you and what they think about you… never letting them see too much of the stuff you’re not sure they’re going to like.

And you justify it because after all, you’re not lying. You’re not purposefully misleading people by being a “fake version” of yourself… You’re not intentionally trying to be someone you’re not… No… Instead – you’re only making efforts to hold certain parts of you back.

The funny thing is, people can tell when you hold back from them.

You might be able to impress a group of people for a short period of time – and you might be able to maintain your image long enough for a group of judges to think they know you. But the truth is, when the judges come in contact with a genuine, open spirit – Everything else looks like a façade.

Judy Eddy / WENN
Judy Eddy / WENN

SO – ARE YOU HOLDING BACK?

You’re “holding back” whenever there’s something you hope people DON’T discover about you.

Maybe you’re not sure how someone’s going to respond to one of your quirks or flaws, so you keep that part of your personality away from them. Or, you think you’re “not enough” because you don’t have it all together. To compensate, you do your best to showcase the GOOD STUFF about yourself (the stuff you happen to really like), hoping people don’t pry further to discover where you fall short.

Trust me, we’ve all been guilty of “holding back” at one time or another… But, here’s the deal. People can tell when you hold back from them. And even if one contestant, ONE WOMAN dares to be open and vulnerable during her private interview, nobody else will be able to hold a candle to her when she leaves the room.

The trick is…

MICHAEL LOCCISANO / GETTY IMAGES
MICHAEL LOCCISANO / GETTY IMAGES

BE THE ONE.

YOU be the one who is open – who isn’t afraid to let the judges see who you really are – warts and all (lol)! If you’re the ONE PERSON who’s comfortable with herself, ready to admit you don’t have all the answers but that you’re working towards improvement, it’s going to be awfully hard to deny you the crown.

The rest of the group will be busy trying to impress the judges with their knowledge on foreign policy, or pop-culture, or even obscure statistics about their platforms. Those girls will be subliminally telling the judges, “Look at this part of me! Aren’t I smart? Aren’t I witty? Can you believe how impressive I am?”

And that kind of white-washed propaganda will be super easy to spot when a genuine soul comes around.

(Julio Cortez | The Associated Press)
(Julio Cortez | The Associated Press)

THEREFORE – THE ANSWER IS…

Be Genuine. Be Authentic. Just Be You.

Trouble is, it’s not always easy being genuine. People might not approve of your choices. They may not understand your beliefs. Worse yet, they might disagree and think your opinion is flat out wrong.

And that’s the risk.

Now – this isn’t a ‘cart-blanch’ card for saying ANYTHING you want, ANY WAY you want, in your interview. You still need to make sure you’re being true to yourself while answering questions in a respectful and diplomatic way.

But guess what – Being true to you and being diplomatic aren’t mutually exclusive. They CAN co-exist! And the contestant who discovers the balance (usually through a great deal of practice), is the one who shines above the rest – guaranteed! 🙂

MARK MAKELA/Reuters
MARK MAKELA/Reuters

IN SUMMARY

Do know that it’s entirely possible that you don’t hold back – that you really go for it, and that you show the judges exactly who you are… Only to find out, they don’t approve.  I’m afraid this formula isn’t a free ticket to the crown – or to finishing in the top 5.

But I would ask you… Which is worse?

Showing all of who you are with grace and tact, then being rejected by 5/7 total strangers… Or showing 70% of who you are, and risk the chance that someone else showed 100% of themselves, thus earning the judge’s favor in the end?

Seems to me the real risk is not being willing to be yourself.

Warts and all…

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

 

If you’d like to read more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, just click here…

Photo by Jenn Cady Photography
Photo by Jenn Cady Photography

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

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