Junkie Disclaimer:  For the record, all photos used in this post were selected because of the ‘dramatic nature’ in which the person in the photo was captured. These photos were not chosen because any of the women in the photos are considered by anyone within Pageant Junkies, to be ‘dramatic’.  If you don’t believe us, well then…  

Today’s post is written precisely for people like you – Enjoy!

Ugh. If there’s anything I hate about pageantry – it’s drama.

People who are cray-cray tend to do insane and obnoxious things. They twist people’s words, they make rude comments and snide remarks, they blow things way out of proportion, and they rarely give anyone the benefit of the doubt.

And although I hate to say it – I’m afraid pageantry isn’t the only place where drama exists…

Yes – You’re going to run into drama in numerous places in your life for years and years to come… Areas like in your office, with your neighbors, roommates or colleagues, among future family members, even clients and friends… The drama always exists and is always waiting for those who wish to embrace it.

Therefore, recognizing it and understanding “the drama battle” early in your life, will allow you to steer clear of excessive craziness, and help you keep your sanity in a world of drama-filled wackos.

For the record, I do have a few credentials when it comes to offering a some tips in a drama discussion…

Besides handling the occasional rude and insensitive comments I receive from followers, I competed in pageants for 3.5 years, I was in a sorority for 4 years, and I managed hundreds of people over a 15 year career in corporate America, which extended to 5 different cities. You think you’ve got drama? Ask me about the time somebody took over my radio station in the middle of the night…

But I digress…

Here’s 3 things you need to know when dealing with drama…

Don’t Get Sucked In…

Pageant folks are often really good at getting people’s attention. After all, that’s how you stand out on stage! But when handling drama from fellow pageant contestants or other pageant people, you need to spot the warning signs of getting “sucked in” before it’s too late…

If you’re constantly getting texts over and over – Or if you’re getting texts in the middle of the night… Or phone calls at all hours of the day… Or if someone always wants to pull you aside to “tell you something”… That’s drama. And I hate to say it, but if you’re the person who’s constantly respond to their texts, calls and need for private meetings, then you’re contributing to the problem.

Don’t get me wrong – There are moments in life when someone needs you immediately. But for all the remaining situations, the best thing to do is draw boundaries. Don’t answer texts from people at all hours. Don’t answer the phone, simply because it rings. You don’t always have to be the person who “fixes” someone else’s problems… In fact, the more you try to fix someone else’s problems, the more you stifle their chances to grow and mature – Which means, you’re pretty much perpetuating the cycle. You have been SUCKED IN!!!

If you find yourself getting sucked in, draw boundaries. Doesn’t matter who it is… Find a way to kindly say “no” – Or, find ways to communicate words of encouragement to the drama-filled person… Things like, “I know you’re going to figure this out… You can do it!  I believe in you!” When you do, you’ll discover how refreshing it is to jump off the crazy-train and live your life in peace.

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear

Lots of pageant people like to talk. And offer opinions. And name drop. And extend valuable pieces of information about what someone else is saying or doing. And the truth is – there are two sides to every story.

If you hear something unflattering about another person in pageant circles, take it with a grain of salt and keep it to yourself. Not everything you hear is true. And therefore, not everything you hear deserves to be repeated.

It can be hard – but the most mature pageant contestants are the ones who learn the difference between someone who’s stirring up trouble and someone who’s got a genuine beef. If you believe everything you hear, you’re setting yourself up for a prejudiced pageant week. One where you have already passed judgment on someone – Not because of personal experience, but because of something you heard.

Honestly, it’s pretty silly to make up your mind about someone before you’ve had the chance to interact directly with that person yourself. Pageant week is full of incredible experiences that you’ll never forget! Don’t limit the amount of experiences you have – simply because you believed something about someone else that may or may not be true. Thats not cool – and you’ll regret it.

DEAR LORD… Don’t Worry About It

More often than not, what I hear from pageant contestants is how THEY’RE the ones being talked about… Someone else has started the drama and they don’t know what to do or how to react…

     “They all think that I’m __________ because of what she told them!” – or – “Everyone says that I __________, but it’s not true!”

Let’s get one thing straight.

Even if “everyone says” that you’re sacrificing puppies in the middle of the night and drinking their blood – it doesn’t make it true. Right? And if something isn’t true, that means it’s false. And guess what? If someone says something false about you – it’s a great chance for you to shake it off… Welcome to the real world – We’re glad you’re here. 🙂

However, if someone says something about you that challenges you, then it’s time to evaluate why such a thing would be said? For example, if people say you’re “ungrateful”… Could it be because you don’t bother to thank sponsors and volunteers?  If people say you’re “unfriendly”… Could it be because you’re cold and uninterested in making small talk with people who (in your mind) don’t matter?

Nobody’s perfect – but in my experience, most of us have an area or two in which we can improve. If someone says something about you that’s blatantly untrue, then have a chuckle about it and let it go. But if someone says something that gets under your skin, chances are, there may be an element of truth there. At that point, the best thing to do is to calmly assess the root of the comment, figure out how you can improve in that area, and do your best to make a better impression in the future.

And there you go… I’m not saying you can totally eliminate the every-day absurdity of pageant-drama, but by following these 3 guidelines, you can certainly learn how to deal with drama, with the hopes of minimizing it as much as possible.

And if you ever find yourself in charge of a radio station that gets commandeered in the middle of the night, you’ll know exactly who to call…  I’m your girl. 🙂

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

For more ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

Hey Junkies!  Happy Thursday!

So – For a few weeks now, I’ve been telling you about things you can be doing right now that will prepare you to be an amazing pageant contestant by the time your state title rolls around. If you haven’t picked up on the hints I’ve been dropping – the central theme is pretty much the same…

It’s what you do OFF-STAGE that prepares you for a stellar performance ON-STAGE. 

If you think about it, if the judges only took into consideration your on-stage performance, they’d be evaluating you based on your Swimsuit presentation, your Gown presentation, your 1.5 minute Talent routine, and your 30 second on-stage question.

What is that?  Like – 4 minutes??? LOL!

That’s what I mean when I say – You’ve got to do the Off-Stage preparation if you expect to succeed On-Stage.

The truth is, everything you do Off-Stage prepares you for those 4 minutes. And if you prepare in the right areas, you can make sure you score as high as possible during those 4 minutes on-stage… Here’s a few tips 🙂

YOUR INTERVIEW

During the Pageant Junkies Podcast, I love to ask former titleholders who’ve now served as a judge, what they wish they would’ve known when competing. The answer is always the same…

As a judge, when a contestant does well in interview, you’re actually LOOKING for her on-stage. You’re PULLING for her! You want her to do well in the other areas of the competition! Couple that with the fact that Interview is the “longest area” of competition (10 full minutes) and you can see why acing your interview is a big, big deal!

Most ladies prepare for their interview by trying to think of every possible question the judges could ask them… Which honestly, is kind of a waste of time. Yes, you need to be prepared for any question, but the reason why it’s a waste of time to think of every question on the planet is because – YOU DON’T NEED a specific answer for every question! Rather, you simply need to know what your core values are and how those values relate to different categories of questions (political questions, social justice questions, entertainment questions, personal questions, goal-oriented questions, etc.).

The best way to prepare for your interview, is to know what you believe. The best way for you to know what you believe, is to challenge yourself… Either by having discussions with people who disagree with you – or by simply asking yourself WHY over and over again. Then, you’ll know exactly where you stand. 🙂

YOUR PLATFORM

Platforms Matter. Yes, your state may have a strong list of elementary schools who enjoy having “Miss State” come through every year. But your job, isn’t to rely on your state to book you after you’ve won. Your job, is to book yourself BEFORE you win.

The best way to book yourself is to connect with audiences who are either supportive of, or open to hearing about, your platform. Then, you’ll get experience speaking in front of others, interacting with lots of different types of people, and learning how to handle yourself in public situations. That experience is INVALUABLE and will pay dividends long after your pageant days are over – but honestly, it’s great preparation for having a confident interview, and being fully prepared to do the job of Miss “Fill in the Blank.”

YOUR FUNDRAISING

I feel like fundraising has a tendency to get a bad wrap within pageantry. Some ladies tend to look at it like, “Ugh… Gotta figure out how to raise some more money…”

The truth is, the better you are at fundraising, the more excitement and passion you’ll have for this organization. When you see the difference your fundraising dollars can make, you’ll change the way you see yourself, and any fundraising requirements you have.

Lacey Sanchez, Miss Louisiana 2014 put it best in her podcast (which you can listen to right here)… Paraphrasing…She said, “I can’t control the outcome of my state pageant.  But I CAN control how many children benefit from the dollars I raise for CMN hospitals…” And because Lacey saw the impact that her fundraising efforts made for these children, she never thought of fundraising as a burden or a chore.

If you want to show the judges that you are truly an advocate for CMN – Then you need to show that your interest in CMN, runs beyond the minimum amount required. Otherwise, I’m sorry, but – it’s going to be hard to believe you.

YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA

You’d be surprised how many ladies have not yet “got the memo” about how important social media is to pageantry. SOCIAL MEDIA IS EVERYTHING. Your social media account should attract new contestants to the program, it should show how active you are in the community, it should show the benefit of participating in pageants, and much, much, more.

If you care about the future of this program – If you want other young ladies to experience the same benefits and rewards that this program offers (scholarships, personal growth, public speaking skills, poise and confidence), then it’s your job to communicate it to them. The best way to do that – WITHOUT QUESTION – is through social media.

When you harness the power of social media, you attract people to you. When you harness the power of social media, you prove that pageant contestants are more than parade-wavers. And because of the continuing explosive growth of social media, when you harness the power of social media, you actually have the ability to impact a greater number of people than any of your predecessors. That’s why, it’s a pretty big freaking deal.

WHAT AM I SAYING???

Here’s what I’m saying… You can work out at the gym all you want… You can search high and low for the perfect dress, the perfect shoes, the perfect accessories… You can be the most talented contestant in your state pageant… But all of that – is 4 minutes max.

And if you have nothing to say in your 10 minute interview, you may finish well, but you’ll rarely win.

Everything you do Off-Stage prepares you for your 10 minute interview, and allows you to be fully confident during your 4 minutes On-Stage.

And believe it or not, that’s the difference between ladies who do well, and ladies who wonder what else could I have done.

Until Next Week!

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

To see more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

30 days.

That’s how much time we have between now, and the day that we know the name of someone who is headed to Miss America 2017!!!

Considering the fact that state pageant season is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER – I thought I’d go ahead and write this week’s post about the best way to use your time between now and your your state competition…

Doesn’t matter if you only have 30 days or 2.5 months until your state pageant – The truth is, your ability to perform well – and perhaps even win your state title – has much more to do with the 4-12 weeks BEFORE your state pageant – than at any other time.

It’s called momentum.  And it’s awesome. 🙂

Ladies who have momentum on their side are a zillion times more likely to do well, as opposed to those who don’t!  So – the question is, how do you get the “MO” you need to finish well at your state pageant?  Here’s a few thoughts…

PERFECT YOUR ROUTINE

All of it.  Your workout routine – Your Talent routine – Your waking/posing routine – Your ‘this-is-how-i-stay-updated-on-current-events’ routine.  And don’t forget – part of your routine is your ability to practice each and every one of these things listed above, on a daily/regular basis.

Right now – it’s all about the routine.  Make sure you’re doing the right things over and over again – whether that means cardio on M-W-F and weight training on T-Th… Or whether that means asking yourself potential interview questions every day on your lunch break… Or whether that means Talent practice 3 days a week… Whatever it is, establish a routine for yourself – and stick to it!

Make “your routine” your best friend.  Don’t stray from it.  Don’t slack off.  Don’t cram everything into the two weeks before you leave.  DO YOUR ROUTINE NOW!  I promise, you’ll be AMAZED by how much progress you make – and how genuinely prepared you will truly feel – once your state pageant rolls around!

OFF-STAGE MATTERS

While establishing a routine is great – You’ve got to make sure you prepare yourself beyond the areas of on-stage competition.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times… The best way for me to tell if you are a serious contender for the job of Miss State, is to see if you are currently fulfilling the role of Miss State, RIGHT NOW.

That means, you should be doing things like promoting your platform, speaking in front of classrooms and other groups, networking and connecting with new potential sponsors, fundraising for CMN and your favorite causes.  THESE THINGS ARE NOT PART OF THE ON-STAGE COMPETITION – but they are the exact things that prepare you to fill the role of Miss State!

When you succeed in these “off-stage” areas, you’ll have a crazy amount of legitimate confidence… Why? Because you’ve already been doing the job! And when you know, that you know, that you know, that you’ve got the “off-stage” goods to do the job of Miss State…  Guess what that’s called???  You guessed it – MOMENTUM!!!

DEVELOP YOUR BRAND

If you’re a strong public speaker, and you’re great at fundraising, and you’ve been getting booking requests right and left through your platform, then congratulations!  You’ve got a lot going for you!  However, if any of these things are a struggle for you, it’s likely because you haven’t clearly defined your Pageant Brand.  What makes you different than everyone else (pageant contestant or regular joe-schmo off the street)?  What’s the clear message you want to send to others?  How does that message resonate with people who hear it?  Who benefits the most from your message?  Why now?  What happens if/when people don’t hear your message?

If you have trouble answering any of those questions (in no more than 8 words each), then you need help focusing and/or developing your brand.

When you have a clearly defined brand, it’s like walking into your interview with a secret weapon!  Here’s why…

First – It’s much easier for the judges to remember you… Mainly because you’ll stand out from everyone else who simply wants to “help just one child.”  And trust me – standing out, is a decidedly important, yet generally over-looked, part of the competition.

Second – It’s also easier for your own comfort level come pageant week… Mainly because you’ll know exactly who you are, what you stand for, and how you can introduce Miss Fill-in-the-blank to new audiences.  You’ll know exactly how you can take the title to new heights and who you’re going to impact the most.

If you’re still not sure your pageant brand is as strong as it should be, or you’ve never thought about what’s going to make you stand out from everyone else on stage – We have a very limited time offer right now at Pageant Junkies University. Check it out here…

IT’S NOT ABOUT MISS AMERICA

Right now, you may be tempted to see yourself as Miss America 2017.  But I would caution you about thinking that far ahead. At this stage of the game, thinking of yourself as the next Miss America, is a lot like walking into a job interview to work at the front desk, and assuming you know enough to take over the whole company as the CEO.

The truth is, your year as Miss State, has very little to do with your time at Miss America.  Yes – it’s exciting and it’s rare – but even your state knows winning Miss America is a crapshoot (and we use that term as affectionately as possible). 🙂

That’s why thinking too far ahead can actually hurt you.  Staying focused on what you can do for your state is the best preparation for determining what you can do as Miss America (if and when the time comes). Out of the nearly 1500 state qualifying contestants, only 52 ladies will need to think about competing at Miss America this year!!!  First things first: Keeping your perspective on the ‘here and now’ allows you to build your momentum stronger and faster than those who are worried about going to Miss America.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!!!  Some awesome tips to help  you create the momentum you need before your state pageant!

As always – we love reading your comments and hearing from you!  If you have any questions, feel free to email me at ThePageantJunkies@gmail.com!  We’ll see you again next week!

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

To see more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, please click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.