Kelley Johnson, Miss Colorado 2015, had a life-changing moment on the Miss America stage. In an instant, she became the face of nurses everywhere – Thanks to the fact that she was “not just a nurse”… And if you ever wanted to hear the real story regarding Kelley’s talent, the answer to her on-stage question, or that whole blow-up with The View, today is your day. I realize I’m not supposed to have favorites – But honestly, we think this podcast ranks right up there with some of our best interviews to date. #BigJunkieThanks to Nurse Kelley… Enjoy! đ
[podcast src=”https://html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/4611369/height/360/width/480/theme/standard/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/forward/” height=”360″ width=”480″]Lessons from the Worst Year of My Life…
For more than a decade, most of you know that I worked for a publicly traded company, spending a good chunk of my time climbing the corporate ladder. And like any job, some years were good… and some years were bad⌠Some months were up and some months were down⌠Sometimes corporate loved you – other times, not so much.
I remember one year (yes – an entire year), which was particularly difficult.
I was managing 5 different departments and during that year, each one of my departments took a major hit. Not little stuff either â Weâre talking big things, crazy-unexplainable things, aka “significant issues” that were never part of my original plan.
Allow me to explain…
We went nearly half the year without one of the most visible staff members we desperately needed to have. Not because I couldn’t find the right person, but because I couldn’t get the approval to hire that person. I had someone file an age discrimination suit against me because I didn’t hire her for a certain position (never mind the fact that she didn’t actually apply for the position and never spoke to me about it… so… ummm… yeah…).
We also had employees leave unexpectedly, parents of employees pass away, and I even had a brand new hire freak out about a fairly simple misunderstanding and call the corporate HR office on her second day with the company (good times)…
Further, lightening stuck our company property, and I had to foot the bill for replacing EVERYTHING it hit. Oh – and there were some additional expenses thanks to a reckless idiot who decided to crash his car through our property later that year as well.
There were also bomb threats in our building, client cancelations due to “success” instead of failure, and the ever present “frustration” from corporate regarding the fact that we were inconsistent with our ability to reach our revenue goals.
Like I said, it was tough.
At the end of that year, I decided we needed a rally cry⌠something that reminded us that we were still capable of success. In reality, I didnât want to let mediocre finishes become the norm â So I went searching for inspiration.
In January, I found it.
The luxury cruise ship called, “Costa Concordia” suffered a pretty public disaster in January 2012. Over 4000 people were on board when the ship began to sink off the coast of Italy. At that time, everyone knew about the ship itself… But what what grabbed me, was the communication between two Captains… One was the Captain of the Ship… The other, the Captain of the Coast Guard.
I gained my inspiration from this motivational article written by Darren Hardy (read it here)… To summarize, the conversation between both Captains goes like this…
Ship Captain: Please âŚ
Coast Guard: There is no âpleaseâ about it. Get back on board.
Ship Captain: I am here to coordinate the rescue.
Coast Guard (interrupting): What are you coordinating there! Get on board! Coordinate the rescue from on board!
Ship Captain: (inaudible)⌠there is another lifeboatâŚ
Coast Guard (interrupting, yelling): You get back on board! That is an order! There is nothing else for you to consider. Now I am giving the orders. Get back on board, dammit! Is that clear? Donât you hear me?
Ship Captain: I am going aboard.
Ship Captain: Look, chief, I want to go aboard but the other lifeboat here has stopped and is drifting. I have called âŚ
Coast Guard (interrupting): You have been telling me this for an hour! Now, go aboard! Get on board!
From that moment on, âGet Back on Boardâ became our rally cry.
And the good news is, it worked.
The next year, things weren’t perfect, but our team came together in a stronger and more productive way. In fact, we had several additional things go wrong that year including a flood in our office (thanks to the tenants upstairs) and a major wildfire that forced the evacuation of several team members from their homes (and nearly our own offices), but we produced strong financial numbers and won national awards for the team’s performance. In addition, people began to grow professionally in a way that caused the entire âshipâ to rise. đ
Now â perhaps we couldâve done all those things without our rally cry â But Iâm not so sure we wouldâve been quite so productive. It was that single phrase, “Get Back on Board” that was a constant reminder to each and every one of us that, “this is not the end” and we can do better.
When you find a phrase like “Get Back on Board” – There are a couple of things it does for you… Including the following…
YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT DOESN’T WIN
Trust me⌠Youâre going to have plenty of things in life that will disappoint you â nobody gets out of life without being disappointed. However, the trick is, not to let your disappointment become a permanent state of being.
If youâre constantly walking around thinking things like, âwhat ifâ or âitâs not fairâ or “it’s not my faultâ â then youâre not âworking throughâ your disappointment. Instead, youâre actually prolonging it. And the more you prolong it, the more it begins to win.
Disappointments are meant to remind us how awesome our achievements truly are (you canât fully appreciate the high unless youâve felt the low). If you let the disappointment win, youâll eventually forget what itâs even like to achieve something in the first place. And believe me â the only thing worse than being disappointed, is settling for less than what youâre capable of achieving.
That’s exactly why you gotta own your part of what’s disappointing you, learn from it and move on. It’s actually quite freeing – and allows you to beat disappointment every time.
PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFFâŚ
Itâs easy to identify disappointment on TV or in the movies⌠I frequently think of Elle throwing her chocolates at her television, yelling out, âLIARâ shortly after Warner dumped her (lol!) đ Now â thereâs nothing wrong with having a couple of hours (or even a day) when you do the same⌠But when âdisappointmentâ becomes the norm, itâs time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and âGet Back on Board.â
Itâs not always easy to âlick your woundsâ and move on â but staying in the same place of disappointment doesnât lead anywhere. Itâs like youâre going round and round in circles, replaying the situation over and over, desperately hoping to get a different/better result.
Unfortunately, we canât change the past. Thatâs why itâs imperative to create a new future (a la – Elle Woods getting into Harvard Law!). And believe it or not, the best way to create a new future, is by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and, say it with me, Getting Back on Board.
Â
FIND A FRIEND TO HELP
Sometimes, the kick in the pants we need doesnât come from our own internal motivation â It needs to come from someone we know and trust.
In the conversation that started this whole post, the ship’s Captain obviously knew the situation was pretty bad. I’m guessing he had no idea what he could do to change the situation and was seriously overwhelmed. All he wanted to do was abandon ship and give up. However – It was the Coast Guard Captain who intervened and told him (repeatedly) to go back to his original post.
Having a friend pull you forward is essential to not just getting back on board, but staying on board as well. Even if youâve pulled yourself out of your âfunkâ â Itâs pretty easy to fall back into it from time to time. Thatâs why having a close friend play the role of the Coast Guard Captian in your life during this time, is super important. Friends can often see when weâre struggling and have a way of âpulling us throughâ the tough times, even when weâre still trying to decide if getting âback on boardâ is really worth it or not.
ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING
Shortly after the disaster, an Italian boy named Salvatore Garzillo tweeted: âThe next time someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up I am going to say: âa man like De Falco.ââ (the Coast Guard Captain on the left). In Italy, this example of the 2 Captains – is now legendary.
Perhaps you don’t know – but the Captain who left the ship, never actually went back on board. He was seen taking refuge on a rock at 12:30am. Witnesses say he didn’t return to the ship – even though rescue operations continued until 6am.
The ship’s Captain was eventually charged and sentenced to 16 years in prison. Twelve people died because of the disaster and part of his sentence included 10 years for manslaughter. During the trial, the prosecution stated, “The captainâs duty to be the last person off the ship is not just an obligation dictated by ancient maritime rules, it is also a legal obligation intended to limit the damage to those on the ship.”
Thatâs why Getting Back on Board is a big deal.
Itâs not just about you â Itâs also about other people around you seeing you come out of your struggle/disappointment. They need to see you doing the right thing, bouncing back and finding your way. Other people around you need to remember your example when itâs time for them to do the same. After all, itâs a whole lot easier to move forward when you know youâre not the only one who needs to do so.
So – if you find yourself or someone you love in need of a rally cry, Iâm more than happy to suggest the phrase, Get Back on Board. Again, all of us go through difficulties and disappointments – Perhaps you need to use the phrase to help you continue your workout, or redeem a relationship, or to get ‘back in the game’ after you suffered an ugly defeat. Whatever the case – Feel free to use the phrase Get Back on Board for however long you might need it. đ
Honestly – Iâm certain âGet Back on Boardâ will be a mantra I continue to follow for many of the good years and the bad years to come… Always reminding myself of this…
The end, is never the end – As long as I choose to move forward. đ
#BigJunkieLove
Carrie Lakey
To see more Thursday Posts like this one, just click here…
Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss AmericaâŚ
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.
As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, sheâs galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as âPageant Junkiesâ.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.
Re-subscribing to Premium
Hey Junkies!
This post is to help anyone who originally subscribed to Pageant Junkies Premium, but then decided to cancel, and now would like to re-subscribe again. đ If you’re in that boat, here’s how you need to proceed…
First – here’s the link to your account:Â http://www.gumroad.com/login
Once you click the above link, then you’ll need to enter your email address and your personal password. Â After entering your personal password, the next step is to click this link here… https://gumroad.com/pageantjunkies
Once you see the Pageant Junkies page, scroll down to click “Premium” (you need to click the arrow on the upper left hand side of the graphic) and you can follow the directions to re-subscribe.
If you’re only subscribing for the predictions, then congratulations – your work is done! đ
However, if you’d like to see our bi-monthly Premium Update, you’ll need to send me an email – so I can send you an email – which will allow you to re-subscribe to the list.
While not convenient, I’m afraid that’s the only way my email provider will allow me to add you to the list… Otherwise, they think I’m spamming you (because at one point, you chose to unsubscribe – therefore, they want to make double sure you really want the information and that I’m not adding you without your consent).
Again, if you’re only subscribing for the predictions, then there’s no need to go any further – But if you’d like to see the bi-monthly update, PLEASE send me an email at ThePageantJunkies@gmail.com and I will do my best to get you added back to the list. đ
And there you have it! If you have any additional questions, please let me know!
#BigJunkieLove
Carrie Lakey
#141: Kate Peacock, Miss North Carolina 2015
Kate Peacock is one of those ladies who lived her life with purpose and direction – And just so happened to win the title of Miss North Carolina along the way! Â She certainly understands what it’s like to overcome serious challenges, and then make the commitment to “give back” to those in need… We can absolutely see why Kate was such a popular Miss North Carolina – and after today’s podcast, you will as well! (PS – This interview was recorded back in June while Kate was still serving as Miss NC, before our Outstanding Teen Series began).
[podcast src=”https://html5-player.libsyn.com/embed/episode/id/4594975/height/360/width/480/theme/standard/autonext/no/thumbnail/yes/autoplay/no/preload/no/no_addthis/no/direction/forward/” height=”360″ width=”480″]Michael vs Chad… Winners vs Losers
Aren’t the Olympics awesome? The chance to compete against the best of the best from across the entire globe – and we only let you do it every 4 years!
Which is why the latest “social media post heard ’round the world” has garnered SO MUCH attention… LOL!
In case you think this photo is simply a moment in time, lucky to be captured – Here’s a full summary of the life and times of Michael and Chad (Thanks to Time Magazine… Full article here…)
July 2012: Chad le Clos beats Michael Phelps by five hundredths of a second at the 2012 London Olympic games during the 200-meter butterfly race. After the games, Phelps announces his retirement.
April 2014: Phelps comes out of retirement to compete in his first meet since leaving the sport; significantly, he does not compete in the 200-meter fly, saying that he would never enter the race again.
May 2015: Phelps has a change of heart and competes in the 200-meter fly at the Arena Pro Series, telling reporters that the times that competitors have been clocking in the event are âreally not that fast.â
August 2015: After winning the 100-meter fly at the 2015 FINA World Championships, Le Clos had choice words about Phelps. âMichael Phelps has been talking about how slow the butterfly events have been recently,â he said. âI just did a time he hasnât done in four years. So he can keep quiet now.â
Later that day, Phelps beat le Closâ time in the 100-meter fly at the Phillips 66 National Championships and responded to le Closâ statements. âThere are a lot of things I could say. But I wonât,â he said. âIâm going to let what I do in the pool do my talking.â
Le Clos and his father, however, answer with more sports analysis; le Clos states, âIâm just very happy that heâs back to his good form, so he canât come out and say, âOh, I havenât been training,â or all that rubbish that heâs been talking,â while the elder le Clos told the AP that he was confident that Chad would beat Phelps. âHowever fast Michael goes, we go faster. I donât care about his times, because I know my son is going to beat him.â
November 2015: In an interview with Sport 360, le Clos reveals that he was hurt by the rift with Phelps, but also takes the opportunity to throw shade at his opponent. âIf I was as great as he was, I would conduct myself in a way children would be proud ofâŚI thought I was good friends with him, clearly not. I donât think he likes me very much.â
August 2016: Phelps and le Clos meet again in Rio, where spectators are equally bemused as they are intrigued by le Clos shadow boxing and dancing before the preliminary race as Phelps glowered in a corner, giving us the meme of the Olympic games, heretofore referred to as #PhelpsFace. Phelps went on to beat le Clos in not only the preliminary heat, but also in the final race…
WOWZERS. I gotta say, this story has enough drama in it – We might accidentally mistake these two guys for pageant contestants!
Therefore, today we’re going to talk about Michael vs Chad – Winners vs Losers… And how to tell the difference between winners and losers…
PRESSURE REVEALS CHARACTER
Think you’ve got pressure? Let me tell you – The Olympics are pressure personified!
It’s a BIG DEAL to be an Olympian – Let alone win a medal! Why? Well – As we said above, it’s because these games only take place every four years! What if you only got to compete in a pageant every four years – And you didn’t get another shot at competing again until 4 years later? See? Now you get it!
When the pressure is on – Life has a way of causing each of us to reveal our “true” selves. Why is it that some ladies shine at their state pageant, but not on the National stage? It’s because whenever there’s more at stake – We tend to get more nervous about things – Because there’s more at stake (what a cycle!)!
On the flip side, if you understand how to manage pressure, you’re much more likely to have a positive pageant experience. Â Here’s what I mean…
Whenever you face pressure (or are starting to feel stressed out about a situation) – the best thing to do is take a deep breath, appreciate the moment, and realize how fortunate you are to have received such an incredible opportunity. Once you do that, you’re now responding to pressure with gratitude… And gratitude is a MUCH better state of mind than nervousness (which only creates more pressure).
If you find yourself falling under the category of “nervousness” and “stress” – it’s time to ask yourself some tough questions. Why is this such a big deal? What do I need to do in order to breathe and get some perspective? Is my life completely over if things don’t go the way I want?
When you’re able to calm yourself down and answer those questions in a relaxed state of mind, you’re well on your way towards an “appreciation” mentality. An appreciation mentality is what allows you to enjoy the journey – rather than getting wrapped up in specific answers that haven’t yet been realized.
It doesn’t mean you won’t walk through times of stress and pressure in your life (we all do), but it does mean you’ll have a much better chance of surviving whatever pressure-filled situation you’re in, without ending up in the fetal position, crying like a baby. Winners handle pressure by shifting their focus. Losers freak out and crumble when the pressure picks up.
SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA
Truth is – Chad isn’t really a loser. He’s better than THOUSANDS of other swimmers out there in the world. He’s beaten Michael Phelps before, and he has himself an entire closet full of medals from the top races and events world-wide. However, clearly, Chad’s pre-race bravado caught up with him on the world stage where everyone could see it laid out in front of them.
And let’s be honest… If the circumstances had changed – and if Chad would’ve won… Would that make most of us “happy” that his trash-talking and slightly obnoxious attitude led to victory? Nope! LOL! I’m guessing most of us would’ve been annoyed or even angry because of his arrogance and lack of humility.
Now – As a pageant contestant, you may not get the chance to directly engage in “trash talk” with a fellow contestant in front of the media (dear God let’s hope not)… But I gotta say, if you’re one of these ladies who “takes a swipe” every once in a while at a fellow competitor –Â Maybe through a back-handed compliment or a sassy response, then it’s time for you take a good long look in the mirror (or at Chad’s loser face).
Your ability to talk bad about someone else DOES NOTHINGÂ for YOU. All it does is prove you’re worried about your competition! Your chatter shows your heart – And obviously, your heart is caught up in thinking about someone else (otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to say about them).
And just like Chad… Even if you “talk smack” about the competition and then go on to win, nobody will be happy about it. Why? Because arrogant people are the worst. And it’s just not necessary. Winners are classy. They win with humility and dignity. Losers may “win” – But I can almost guarantee your pride will eventually lead to an ugly fall.
WHAT YOU FOCUS ON, MATTERS…
As I’ve said before in this very blog and in countless posts I’ve written… What you focus on, matters. Is your focus on “not eating ice cream” or is it on “getting healthy”? Is your focus on the right gown, the right shoes. and the right hair/makeup? Or is your focus on showing the judges who you are as a person?
Whatever you focus on, will be what others see. That’s why you hear smart contestants say things like, “I just wanted to focus on having a good time”… You don’t hear smart contestants say things like, “I really tried to focus on not stressing out.”
Focus on what you want. Not what you don’t want. Based on the now infamous #PhelpsFace, I’m guessing Michael may have wanted to focus on smacking his opponent right in the kisser! However – Michael channeled his energy – And instead of letting some “light shadow boxing” get in his head, he decided to focus on the win. On his turns. On his breathing. Heck – who knows – Maybe he had to concentrate SO HARD on keeping his focus on himself, that the ensuing #PhelpsFace is what we all saw!
Let’s just say – whatever it takes to keep yourself focused on YOU – then by all means, do it. If it means you’re concentrating so hard on your own performance, then rock your #PhepsFace backstage, in a corner, as long as you wish. đ To steal a phrase, winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.
THE END IS NEVER REALLY “THE END”
Michael admits he went through a “rough patch” in life between retirement and where he is today. He received a DUI, he went through re-hab – and at one point, he even said he “didn’t want to see another day”.
He admits, part of the reason he struggled so much – is because he’d accomplished all of his goals… and there wasn’t much left to live for.
Now – it may not be this dramatic, but I’ve seen plenty of pageant contestants struggle with the “next step” of life either because they’ve aged out – or because they’ve been working towards being “Miss fill-in-the-blank” for so long, they’ve never thought beyond it.
As someone who was once in that boat, may I just say, the end – is never really the end.
If you truly love something, you’ll find a way to still participate in it. If you really want something, you’ll open your mind to alternative possibilities that still make participating possible (after all – Michael Phelps quit drinking and everyone around him says at the age of 30, he’s NOW in the best shape of his life!).
Twenty years ago, I’d just been handed my second loss at Miss Kansas. Shortly thereafter, I took a new job, packed my bags and moved across the state line – Never believing I’d ever be involved in pageants ever again.
Thank God I was wrong.
Because I love pageantry and specifically the Miss America program, I am thrilled that “my end” was not really “the end”. And if you’re someone who truly finds joy through pageantry, then you can also dream new dreams… meet new people… chase new thoughts of inspiration… And see where your future leads…
It’s entirely possible that what you think is “the end” – is really just the beginning.
Even though I thought it was the end – It turns out, my participation in pageantry was just the beginning. And when I look back now, it’s crazy – but, I had no idea that my “circle” would bring me to the place where I sit today.
The end is never really the end – If you don’t want it to be the end. I’m guessing these gold medals mean more to Michael Phelps than many of the other ones in his phenomenal career… Why?
Because he made the choice to keep going, when he could’ve quit.
And in the end – That alone – is the biggest difference between winners and losers. đ
#BigJunkieLove
Carrie Lakey
To see more Thursday Posts like this one, just click here…
Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss AmericaâŚ
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.
As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, sheâs galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as âPageant Junkiesâ.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.
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