Communication can be tricky.

Case in point…

My husband gets so frustrated with me sometimes… It’s because admittedly, I possess a little known (but easily diagnosed) mental disease called, Noun-Omission Syndrome.

Now, I’m certainly not proud of my status as a noun-omitter… And I don’t exactly know when the disease first began.  For the record, I do know what ‘chairs’ and ‘boxes’ and ‘water-bottles’ are actually called.  However, every once in a while, for some irrational reason, instead of using the ‘real words’ – I occasionally substitute those words for other words like “thingy” and “do-hickey” and “it”. Just the other day, I’m asking my husband to help me take “it” downstairs and set “it” by the “thingy” where the “do-hickey’s” are (See? Such an awful disease…).

I’m not sure why I don’t always use the proper words at the proper time… But, I’m absolutely guilty as charged. In fact, I’m pretty much a sucker for a “wadda-you-call-it” when it comes to identifying stuff. It’s almost as if my brain has decided “thingy bopper” is the actual name of the item in which I’m trying to describe – and I can’t stop until the word “thingy bopper” comes out of my mouth!

And here’s the crazy thing – I know I have Noun-Omission Syndrome… But, I actually get upset whenever I use these silly, generic terms, and the people around me don’t understand what I’m trying to say! Well – Hold on… That’s not completely true…

I don’t get upset when someone doesn’t know what I’m saying (because again, having lived with this syndrome for some time now, I know when I’m screwing it up)… Instead, I get upset when someone doesn’t even try to guess what I’m saying!

Yes – I get frustrated when my Noun-Omission Syndrome takes over, causing me to say something nondescript, and then the people around me just stare blankly ahead as if I’m from another planet. In my mind I’m thinking, “C’mon! You know what I mean! If you’d just TRY to consider what I’m thinking, you might be able to help me!” lol!

What’s crazy is that most people who don’t meet me half way (*cough cough* my husband) are often thinking something completely different… Instead of trying to meet me half-way, his thinking is somewhere along the lines of, “C’mon! Stop TRYING and just say what you freaking mean so we can understand each other already! Geez!”

And therein lies the impasse. Both parties wishing the other would “do their job” to communicate.

Now – since Noun-Omission Syndrome is a disease, I obviously think I’m the one who should be indulged (rather than other way around). And of course… Because my husband doesn’t believe in Noun-Omission Syndrome (cue the eye roll), he’s not exactly ‘jumping in’ to save me.

Which brings me back to my original point. Communication can be tricky.

That’s why I’ve decided the best cure for Noun-Omission Syndrome is something we can all employ every day.  It’s called, the benefit of the doubt.

Now – I’m not perfect in offering the benefit of the doubt – but I’m a whole lot better than I used to be! In case you’re a Noun-Omitter (or you know someone who is), here’s how it works…

When you offer someone the benefit of the doubt, you’re actually performing a mental switch. Doesn’t matter what the conflict is – When you give them the benefit of the doubt, you take your mind OFF of your frustration, and instead, you begin to apply empathy to the person/situation that is frustrating to you.

For example:

Let’s say I’m about to be interviewed by someone I don’t know. I’m hungry – I’m tired – And I may or may not have had a strong desire to go to this interview, even though I know it’s my job to do so.

During the interview (where I am tired and hungry), the person from the newspaper is extremely friendly… Very conversational, super-engaging… And in a strange kind of way, this person seems to really “get” me. In fact, we connect quite quickly… Which instead of causing me to fall into Noun-Omission Syndrome, it actually causes me to go into another one of my maladies known as, OSD… “Over-Sharing Disorder”.

Now, I’ve been told before that sometimes I have a tendency to over-share and that my OSD can take over without realizing it. But again, even though we just met – I feel like I can trust her. We’re really, really connecting – and I don’t get that every day. In fact, most days I’m the one who has to adapt to someone else!

You see, my job is all about making other people feel great.  And it’s a wonderful job – but, in order for me to make other people feel great, it means I have to constantly adapt to them. It’s actually my job to mirror their personality – and once I do that, I’m expected to reply to them in a way in which they will appreciate. If I don’t, the encounter falls short – that person leaves without ‘feeling great’ – and that means, I’ve failed at my job.  Therefore, when someone comes along and we connect – it means I don’t have to adapt to them! And LET ME TELL YOU – It sure feels nice to have that person adapt to me!

So, at this point in the interview, I let my guard down and I’m more genuine than I’ve probably been in a long time. And believe me – it feels amazing to have someone look at me, as the real me. That’s when my Over-Sharing Disorder kicks in at an all-time high, and before you know it, the lunch is over, my new friend is gone, and it’s back to my life of adapting to everyone else… Just as it was before the meeting began.

Now, when the interview gets published – and I see the words I said during that lunch meeting… It all looks very different in the light of day.

As it turns out, I was swindled.

Someone posing as someone who “really connected with me” has now turned into someone who was just out to get me. And it’s not good. In fact, to most people who read the interview, they think it’s bad. Very, very bad.

That’s when I suddenly regret the fact that I shared so much, so openly, with someone who had such ugly intentions to betray me. I got hustled. I’m exposed. And it sucks.

Which is exactly why it’s so important that we always offer the antidote to both Noun-Omission Syndrome AND Over-Sharing Disorder… 

THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

Look. Nobody’s perfect. Therefore, when you offer someone the benefit of the doubt, you’re stepping away from your judgments and stepping into empathy.

How do you know if you’re offering the benefit of the doubt or not?  Well – someone who IS offering this antidote usually starts by asking themselves a question like, “Why would that person ever do/say what they just did?”

And then (the real key is this…)… Do your best to come up with a logical answer.

When you stop focusing on your reaction (how you’re appalled, frustrated, annoyed, etc) – And when you start asking yourself why someone else would respond in a manner in which seems really annoying/frustrating/dumb to you… You’re usually able to come up with a scenario that extends the benefit of the doubt.

The benefit of the doubt is a super-strong antidote indeed. In fact – It’s like grace being poured out and drenched all over the ugliest of situations.

And here’s the thing…

Even if you’re lucky enough not to suffer from Noun-Omission Syndrome or Over-Sharing Disorder, I’m pretty sure at one point or another, all of us still need the ‘benefit of the doubt’ in our own lives.

And because you and I still need all the ‘benefit of the doubt’ we can get – It’s probably a good idea to give it to others as well.

The next time you see someone suffering from NOS or OSD, or the next time you see someone do something that appears completely against the norm of your expectations, do your best to extend the benefit of the doubt. After all – what good is empathy if we refuse to use it when it’s needed most?

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

 

To see more Thursday Posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

For more than a decade, most of you know that I worked for a publicly traded company, spending a good chunk of my time climbing the corporate ladder. And like any job, some years were good… and some years were bad… Some months were up and some months were down… Sometimes corporate loved you – other times, not so much.

I remember one year (yes – an entire year), which was particularly difficult.

I was managing 5 different departments and during that year, each one of my departments took a major hit. Not little stuff either – We’re talking big things, crazy-unexplainable things, aka “significant issues” that were never part of my original plan.

Allow me to explain…

We went nearly half the year without one of the most visible staff members we desperately needed to have. Not because I couldn’t find the right person, but because I couldn’t get the approval to hire that person. I had someone file an age discrimination suit against me because I didn’t hire her for a certain position (never mind the fact that she didn’t actually apply for the position and never spoke to me about it… so… ummm… yeah…).

We also had employees leave unexpectedly, parents of employees pass away, and I even had a brand new hire freak out about a fairly simple misunderstanding and call the corporate HR office on her second day with the company (good times)…

Further, lightening stuck our company property, and I had to foot the bill for replacing EVERYTHING it hit. Oh – and there were some additional expenses thanks to a reckless idiot who decided to crash his car through our property later that year as well.

There were also bomb threats in our building, client cancelations due to “success” instead of failure, and the ever present “frustration” from corporate regarding the fact that we were inconsistent with our ability to reach our revenue goals.

Like I said, it was tough.

At the end of that year, I decided we needed a rally cry… something that reminded us that we were still capable of success. In reality, I didn’t want to let mediocre finishes become the norm – So I went searching for inspiration.

In January, I found it.

The luxury cruise ship called, “Costa Concordia” suffered a pretty public disaster in January 2012. Over 4000 people were on board when the ship began to sink off the coast of Italy. At that time, everyone knew about the ship itself… But what what grabbed me, was the communication between two Captains… One was the Captain of the Ship… The other, the Captain of the Coast Guard.

I gained my inspiration from this motivational article written by Darren Hardy (read it here)… To summarize, the conversation between both Captains goes like this…

Ship Captain: Please …
Coast Guard: There is no ‘please’ about it. Get back on board.

Ship Captain: I am here to coordinate the rescue.
Coast Guard (interrupting): What are you coordinating there! Get on board! Coordinate the rescue from on board!

Ship Captain: (inaudible)… there is another lifeboat…
Coast Guard (interrupting, yelling): You get back on board! That is an order! There is nothing else for you to consider. Now I am giving the orders. Get back on board, dammit! Is that clear? Don’t you hear me?
Ship Captain: I am going aboard.

Ship Captain: Look, chief, I want to go aboard but the other lifeboat here has stopped and is drifting. I have called …
Coast Guard (interrupting): You have been telling me this for an hour! Now, go aboard! Get on board!

From that moment on, “Get Back on Board” became our rally cry.

And the good news is, it worked.

The next year, things weren’t perfect, but our team came together in a stronger and more productive way. In fact, we had several additional things go wrong that year including a flood in our office (thanks to the tenants upstairs) and a major wildfire that forced the evacuation of several team members from their homes (and nearly our own offices), but we produced strong financial numbers and won national awards for the team’s performance. In addition, people began to grow professionally in a way that caused the entire “ship” to rise. 🙂

Now – perhaps we could’ve done all those things without our rally cry – But I’m not so sure we would’ve been quite so productive. It was that single phrase, “Get Back on Board” that was a constant reminder to each and every one of us that, “this is not the end” and we can do better.

When you find a phrase like “Get Back on Board” – There are a couple of things it does for you… Including the following…

YOUR DISAPPOINTMENT DOESN’T WIN

Trust me… You’re going to have plenty of things in life that will disappoint you – nobody gets out of life without being disappointed. However, the trick is, not to let your disappointment become a permanent state of being.

If you’re constantly walking around thinking things like, “what if” or “it’s not fair” or “it’s not my fault” – then you’re not ‘working through’ your disappointment. Instead, you’re actually prolonging it. And the more you prolong it, the more it begins to win.

Disappointments are meant to remind us how awesome our achievements truly are (you can’t fully appreciate the high unless you’ve felt the low). If you let the disappointment win, you’ll eventually forget what it’s even like to achieve something in the first place. And believe me – the only thing worse than being disappointed, is settling for less than what you’re capable of achieving.

That’s exactly why you gotta own your part of what’s disappointing you, learn from it and move on. It’s actually quite freeing – and allows you to beat disappointment every time.

PICK YOURSELF UP, DUST YOURSELF OFF…

It’s easy to identify disappointment on TV or in the movies… I frequently think of Elle throwing her chocolates at her television, yelling out, “LIAR” shortly after Warner dumped her (lol!) 🙂 Now – there’s nothing wrong with having a couple of hours (or even a day) when you do the same… But when “disappointment” becomes the norm, it’s time to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and “Get Back on Board.”

It’s not always easy to ‘lick your wounds’ and move on – but staying in the same place of disappointment doesn’t lead anywhere. It’s like you’re going round and round in circles, replaying the situation over and over, desperately hoping to get a different/better result.

Unfortunately, we can’t change the past. That’s why it’s imperative to create a new future (a la – Elle Woods getting into Harvard Law!). And believe it or not, the best way to create a new future, is by picking yourself up, dusting yourself off and, say it with me, Getting Back on Board.

 

FIND A FRIEND TO HELP

Sometimes, the kick in the pants we need doesn’t come from our own internal motivation – It needs to come from someone we know and trust.

In the conversation that started this whole post, the ship’s Captain obviously knew the situation was pretty bad. I’m guessing he had no idea what he could do to change the situation and was seriously overwhelmed. All he wanted to do was abandon ship and give up. However – It was the Coast Guard Captain who intervened and told him (repeatedly) to go back to his original post.

Having a friend pull you forward is essential to not just getting back on board, but staying on board as well. Even if you’ve pulled yourself out of your ‘funk’ – It’s pretty easy to fall back into it from time to time. That’s why having a close friend play the role of the Coast Guard Captian in your life during this time, is super important. Friends can often see when we’re struggling and have a way of ‘pulling us through’ the tough times, even when we’re still trying to decide if getting ‘back on board’ is really worth it or not.

ALWAYS DO THE RIGHT THING

Shortly after the disaster, an Italian boy named Salvatore Garzillo tweeted: “The next time someone asks me what I want to be when I grow up I am going to say: ‘a man like De Falco.’” (the Coast Guard Captain on the left). In Italy, this example of the 2 Captains – is now legendary.

Perhaps you don’t know – but the Captain who left the ship, never actually went back on board. He was seen taking refuge on a rock at 12:30am. Witnesses say he didn’t return to the ship – even though rescue operations continued until 6am.

The ship’s Captain was eventually charged and sentenced to 16 years in prison. Twelve people died because of the disaster and part of his sentence included 10 years for manslaughter. During the trial, the prosecution stated, “The captain’s duty to be the last person off the ship is not just an obligation dictated by ancient maritime rules, it is also a legal obligation intended to limit the damage to those on the ship.”

That’s why Getting Back on Board is a big deal.

It’s not just about you – It’s also about other people around you seeing you come out of your struggle/disappointment. They need to see you doing the right thing, bouncing back and finding your way. Other people around you need to remember your example when it’s time for them to do the same. After all, it’s a whole lot easier to move forward when you know you’re not the only one who needs to do so.

So – if you find yourself or someone you love in need of a rally cry, I’m more than happy to suggest the phrase, Get Back on Board. Again, all of us go through difficulties and disappointments – Perhaps you need to use the phrase to help you continue your workout, or redeem a relationship, or to get ‘back in the game’ after you suffered an ugly defeat. Whatever the case – Feel free to use the phrase Get Back on Board for however long you might need it. 🙂

Honestly – I’m certain “Get Back on Board” will be a mantra I continue to follow for many of the good years and the bad years to come… Always reminding myself of this…

The end, is never the end – As long as I choose to move forward. 🙂

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

To see more Thursday Posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

Aren’t the Olympics awesome? The chance to compete against the best of the best from across the entire globe – and we only let you do it every 4 years!

Which is why the latest “social media post heard ’round the world” has garnered SO MUCH attention… LOL!

In case you think this photo is simply a moment in time, lucky to be captured – Here’s a full summary of the life and times of Michael and Chad (Thanks to Time Magazine… Full article here…)

July 2012: Chad le Clos beats Michael Phelps by five hundredths of a second at the 2012 London Olympic games during the 200-meter butterfly race. After the games, Phelps announces his retirement.

April 2014: Phelps comes out of retirement to compete in his first meet since leaving the sport; significantly, he does not compete in the 200-meter fly, saying that he would never enter the race again.

May 2015: Phelps has a change of heart and competes in the 200-meter fly at the Arena Pro Series, telling reporters that the times that competitors have been clocking in the event are “really not that fast.”

August 2015: After winning the 100-meter fly at the 2015 FINA World Championships, Le Clos had choice words about Phelps. “Michael Phelps has been talking about how slow the butterfly events have been recently,” he said. “I just did a time he hasn’t done in four years. So he can keep quiet now.”

Later that day, Phelps beat le Clos’ time in the 100-meter fly at the Phillips 66 National Championships and responded to le Clos’ statements. “There are a lot of things I could say. But I won’t,” he said. “I’m going to let what I do in the pool do my talking.”

Le Clos and his father, however, answer with more sports analysis; le Clos states, “I’m just very happy that he’s back to his good form, so he can’t come out and say, ‘Oh, I haven’t been training,’ or all that rubbish that he’s been talking,” while the elder le Clos told the AP that he was confident that Chad would beat Phelps. “However fast Michael goes, we go faster. I don’t care about his times, because I know my son is going to beat him.”

November 2015: In an interview with Sport 360, le Clos reveals that he was hurt by the rift with Phelps, but also takes the opportunity to throw shade at his opponent. “If I was as great as he was, I would conduct myself in a way children would be proud of…I thought I was good friends with him, clearly not. I don’t think he likes me very much.”

August 2016: Phelps and le Clos meet again in Rio, where spectators are equally bemused as they are intrigued by le Clos shadow boxing and dancing before the preliminary race as Phelps glowered in a corner, giving us the meme of the Olympic games, heretofore referred to as #PhelpsFace. Phelps went on to beat le Clos in not only the preliminary heat, but also in the final race…

WOWZERS. I gotta say, this story has enough drama in it – We might accidentally mistake these two guys for pageant contestants!

Therefore, today we’re going to talk about Michael vs Chad – Winners vs Losers… And how to tell the difference between winners and losers…

PRESSURE REVEALS CHARACTER

Think you’ve got pressure? Let me tell you – The Olympics are pressure personified!

It’s a BIG DEAL to be an Olympian – Let alone win a medal! Why? Well – As we said above, it’s because these games only take place every four years! What if you only got to compete in a pageant every four years – And you didn’t get another shot at competing again until 4 years later? See? Now you get it!

When the pressure is on – Life has a way of causing each of us to reveal our “true” selves. Why is it that some ladies shine at their state pageant, but not on the National stage? It’s because whenever there’s more at stake – We tend to get more nervous about things – Because there’s more at stake (what a cycle!)!

On the flip side, if you understand how to manage pressure, you’re much more likely to have a positive pageant experience.  Here’s what I mean…

Whenever you face pressure (or are starting to feel stressed out about a situation) – the best thing to do is take a deep breath, appreciate the moment, and realize how fortunate you are to have received such an incredible opportunity. Once you do that, you’re now responding to pressure with gratitude… And gratitude is a MUCH better state of mind than nervousness (which only creates more pressure).

If you find yourself falling under the category of “nervousness” and “stress” – it’s time to ask yourself some tough questions. Why is this such a big deal? What do I need to do in order to breathe and get some perspective? Is my life completely over if things don’t go the way I want?

When you’re able to calm yourself down and answer those questions in a relaxed state of mind, you’re well on your way towards an “appreciation” mentality. An appreciation mentality is what allows you to enjoy the journey – rather than getting wrapped up in specific answers that haven’t yet been realized.

It doesn’t mean you won’t walk through times of stress and pressure in your life (we all do), but it does mean you’ll have a much better chance of surviving whatever pressure-filled situation you’re in, without ending up in the fetal position, crying like a baby. Winners handle pressure by shifting their focus. Losers freak out and crumble when the pressure picks up.

SAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA

Truth is – Chad isn’t really a loser. He’s better than THOUSANDS of other swimmers out there in the world. He’s beaten Michael Phelps before, and he has himself an entire closet full of medals from the top races and events world-wide. However, clearly, Chad’s pre-race bravado caught up with him on the world stage where everyone could see it laid out in front of them.

And let’s be honest… If the circumstances had changed – and if Chad would’ve won… Would that make most of us “happy” that his trash-talking and slightly obnoxious attitude led to victory? Nope! LOL! I’m guessing most of us would’ve been annoyed or even angry because of his arrogance and lack of humility.

Now – As a pageant contestant, you may not get the chance to directly engage in “trash talk” with a fellow contestant in front of the media (dear God let’s hope not)… But I gotta say, if you’re one of these ladies who “takes a swipe” every once in a while at a fellow competitor – Maybe through a back-handed compliment or a sassy response, then it’s time for you take a good long look in the mirror (or at Chad’s loser face).

Your ability to talk bad about someone else DOES NOTHING for YOU. All it does is prove you’re worried about your competition! Your chatter shows your heart – And obviously, your heart is caught up in thinking about someone else (otherwise, you wouldn’t have anything to say about them).

And just like Chad… Even if you “talk smack” about the competition and then go on to win, nobody will be happy about it. Why? Because arrogant people are the worst. And it’s just not necessary. Winners are classy. They win with humility and dignity. Losers may “win” – But I can almost guarantee your pride will eventually lead to an ugly fall.

WHAT YOU FOCUS ON, MATTERS…

As I’ve said before in this very blog and in countless posts I’ve written… What you focus on, matters. Is your focus on “not eating ice cream” or is it on “getting healthy”? Is your focus on the right gown, the right shoes. and the right hair/makeup? Or is your focus on showing the judges who you are as a person?

Whatever you focus on, will be what others see. That’s why you hear smart contestants say things like, “I just wanted to focus on having a good time”… You don’t hear smart contestants say things like, “I really tried to focus on not stressing out.”

Focus on what you want. Not what you don’t want. Based on the now infamous #PhelpsFace, I’m guessing Michael may have wanted to focus on smacking his opponent right in the kisser! However – Michael channeled his energy – And instead of letting some “light shadow boxing” get in his head, he decided to focus on the win. On his turns. On his breathing. Heck – who knows – Maybe he had to concentrate SO HARD on keeping his focus on himself, that the ensuing #PhelpsFace is what we all saw!

Let’s just say – whatever it takes to keep yourself focused on YOU – then by all means, do it. If it means you’re concentrating so hard on your own performance, then rock your #PhepsFace backstage, in a corner, as long as you wish. 🙂 To steal a phrase, winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.

THE END IS NEVER REALLY “THE END”

Michael admits he went through a “rough patch” in life between retirement and where he is today. He received a DUI, he went through re-hab – and at one point, he even said he “didn’t want to see another day”.

He admits, part of the reason he struggled so much – is because he’d accomplished all of his goals… and there wasn’t much left to live for.

Now – it may not be this dramatic, but I’ve seen plenty of pageant contestants struggle with the “next step” of life either because they’ve aged out – or because they’ve been working towards being “Miss fill-in-the-blank” for so long, they’ve never thought beyond it.

As someone who was once in that boat, may I just say, the end – is never really the end.

If you truly love something, you’ll find a way to still participate in it. If you really want something, you’ll open your mind to alternative possibilities that still make participating possible (after all – Michael Phelps quit drinking and everyone around him says at the age of 30, he’s NOW in the best shape of his life!).

Twenty years ago, I’d just been handed my second loss at Miss Kansas. Shortly thereafter, I took a new job, packed my bags and moved across the state line – Never believing I’d ever be involved in pageants ever again.

Thank God I was wrong.

Because I love pageantry and specifically the Miss America program, I am thrilled that “my end” was not really “the end”. And if you’re someone who truly finds joy through pageantry, then you can also dream new dreams… meet new people… chase new thoughts of inspiration… And see where your future leads…

It’s entirely possible that what you think is “the end” – is really just the beginning.

Even though I thought it was the end – It turns out, my participation in pageantry was just the beginning. And when I look back now, it’s crazy – but, I had no idea that my “circle” would bring me to the place where I sit today.

The end is never really the end – If you don’t want it to be the end. I’m guessing these gold medals mean more to Michael Phelps than many of the other ones in his phenomenal career… Why?

Because he made the choice to keep going, when he could’ve quit.

And in the end – That alone – is the biggest difference between winners and losers. 🙂

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

 

To see more Thursday Posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

Hey Junkies!!!

So, the other day, I’m going through my photos on my phone (looking to delete a few), when I run across the photo at the top of this post. I took this picture while I was out walking the dog one morning… and it stopped me dead in my tracks.

Now, to you, this photo may look like nothing but a bad landscape job – lol! But when I came across this scene – I had to stop and take a picture, specifically because of the pine tree.

You see – Here in Colorado, we get a taste of “tangible growth” every year when Spring comes around. When you check out that pine tree, you can actually see the difference between the darker pine needles and the lighter ones – the lighter ones on the most outer portion of the branches – are the “new growth”.  However – if you look at that same tree now, you can’t see any difference in the “old growth” verses the “new growth”. All the pine needles are the same color – but the tree is larger and stronger.

Oh how I wish every aspect of our lives had such “tangible growth” available in plain sight!

WHAT’S THAT THING GROWING ON YOUR ARM?

Yes – I think life would be a heck of a lot easier if we could actually SEE The progress we’re making on a daily basis. And not just with things like how much you weigh – I’m talking about seeing your personal development. Imagine if we could see a little part of us “grow” when we learned a new skill… or became just a little more proficient in our work… or acquired a piece of knowledge that will help us later in life! How much more motivating might it be to SEE the difference on a daily basis! You could actually SEE  who you were, verses who you are – as it was happening!

Unfortunately (or fortunately), little green leaves don’t start to grow on our bodies when we learn something new. Personal growth and development is intangible. You can’t actually “see” it when it happens – Which is what makes it sooooooo easy to skip it, thinking it’s not necessary…

MAINTENANCE MODE

I’ll admit… It’s much easier to sit and hang out in “maintenance mode” than it is to get excited about pursuing personal growth.

But maintenance can be deceiving.

Think about this…

You can maintain your weight, and yet actually increase in cellulite (not judging! It takes one to know one here!). You can also “maintain” the place where you live (or your car) – But “maintaining” your home doesn’t stop your furniture from getting old and outdated – and it doesn’t stop the parts on your car from wearing out and needing replacement.

You see… maintenance… isn’t staying the same. It’s worse.

Maintenance is holding still. Usually while everything and everyone else around you moves forward.

YOU ARE A TREE

If you’re not experiencing some sort of personal growth, it’s time to ask yourself, “why not?”

You and I actually have the capacity to experience SIGNIFICANT growth in a short period of time. We can adapt to difficult or ugly situations… We can ‘bounce back’ from disappointments, or even surge forward during amazing seasons of personal development. And it doesn’t matter if you choose to grow or if difficult circumstances force you to grow, the bottom line is still the same…

If you want something you’ve never had, you need to do something you’ve never done.

If you want to be more confident in your swimsuit presentation, you need to do something different than what you’re currently doing. If you want to have a stronger interview or talent (or both), you need to do the work that will allow you to grow in those areas.

YOUR CHANCE TO GROW

Now through Sunday, you have a chance to do something you’ve never done before in order to get results that can change your life.

And I’m not talking about winning a pageant… I’m talking about life-altering, personal growth that will put you on a path of self-discovery unlike anything you’ve experienced before.

The women inside PJU who have followed the system as it’s laid out, have “tangible growth” the likes of which they never believed…

And you can have it too.

In all categories of competition… I gave my best performance ever. I felt so confident and relaxed going into prelim night two after an amazing first night of competition. Thank you for everything you do in this program, Carrie! I know you are inspiring young women to love this program for all the right reasons. Your course really was an immense help to me and I am so grateful for the opportunity to talk with you!

~ Current PJU Student

Give yourself (or your daughter) the gift of growth. When you join Pageant Junkies University, you’ll be able to see the difference a winning system can make in your/her life.

Our 4 Day Summer Sale is taking place right now, July 28th-31st. Learn more at this link right here…

Maintenance is holding still. Usually while everything and everyone else around you, is moving forward.

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

To read more #ThursdayPosts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

HOLY COW!!! It’s been quite the crazy week! In case you missed it – let me give you a short re-cap…

Last Thursday, we announced the results from all the ladies who competed at their state pageant (both Miss and Teen) – who also happened to be enrolled at Pageant Junkies University. We were BEYOND pleased with the results – Especially considering the fact that the vast majority of these ladies have never even spoken to me! Instead, these ladies followed the system I created which teaches you how to discover and develop a Pageant Brand that gets noticed on stage (catch last week’s article here)…

Today – we’re going to go in the opposite direction.

You see, I believe that when you have a great product, all you have to do is be honest with people, and let them decide if they’d like to purchase it or not (so – just in case you’re wondering – that means there’s no hard sales pitch coming! YAY!)

Instead – I’m going to outline 5 kinds of people who WON’T benefit from The Branding Course at  PJU. That means, if you find yourself in one of these 5 categories – and you were considering The Branding Course – I’ll tell you right now – Don’t. Buy. This. Course. You’d be much better off without it.

OK – So – Here goes… 5 Types of people who should NOT buy The Branding Course from PJU:

1. You Have Bigger Battles

If you JUST STARTED in pageantry and you quickly realized your talent, fitness, and interview just isn’t up to snuff, I gotta be honest – PJU might not be for you. The Branding Course can do a lot of wonderful things – but if you have a poor talent, a bad interview, and don’t have the confidence you need in your fitness presentation, there’s absolutely no need to buy The Branding Course. I would much rather encourage you to put your time and effort into the major areas of competition before doing any work on your brand. Having a stellar brand does not compensate for someone who has a poor on-stage competition – Which is why you need to put your efforts there first.

2.  The Prettiest Girl Always Wins 

If you’re competing in a pageant system that’s all about looks and has nothing to do with a platform, or volunteer work, interview skills, or talent – Then developing a stellar pageant brand will not make any difference whatsoever. Instead, I would encourage you to find people who can help you create the perfect “look” – and can show you how to ‘amp up’ the glamour as necessary. If your pageant system rewards “beauty” alone – then this course is not for you and although I know you might learn a few things, in the end, those things will not help you win the crown.

3.  All You Do is Win

If you’ve been doing this pageant thing for decent amount of time, and you frequently win without really even trying, then The Branding Course is not for you either. There are some ladies out there who make pageantry look “effortless”… Honestly – they’re almost “gifted” when it comes to pageant competitions – and that’s absolutely wonderful! Each of us should find an area in which we can succeed! And if you happen to be one of those ladies who decides to do a pageant – and 90% of the time you walk away with the crown, then The Branding Course is not for you! Just keep doing what you’re already doing! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

4.  You Think I’m Going to do the Work for You

Let’s say you like pageantry… You enjoy competing… And you’d prefer to win more often – But you’re not really ready or willing to put any more effort into getting different results. Well – I gotta tell you – The Branding Course is not going to help you either. I’m afraid you’re going to have to put in the effort if you want to change/improve yourself. Heck – You can watch all the modules and take the best notes in the world – But if you don’t APPLY anything that you’ve learned, you’re not going to succeed. It’s just like any other area of competition… If you want to succeed in Talent, you need to practice. If you want to succeed in Fitness, you need to make healthy choices and work out. Nobody else can do that work for you. It’s the same thing regarding the Branding Course. It’s full of incredible information that can change the way you compete – But I can’t do the work for you – You need to do it yourself.

5.  You’re Looking for a “Quick Fix” 

The truth of the matter is – Developing your brand takes time. This course will show you many of the things you’re not doing correctly – or not doing at all – But it can’t fix your brand overnight (frankly – nobody can do that). In case you didn’t realize it, The Branding Course is over 3.5 hours of video instruction, outlining our branding system, step by step. We give you successful examples of strong pageant brands, we show you a significant number of rookie mistakes – and we also offer dozens of  accountability questions to help you remain on track. Obviously, you could get through all the modules in an afternoon – but most ladies who are serious about developing a solid brand, find it takes some time to be objective about themselves and then determining what needs to change. You can do it quickly – Or you can take the time to do it right – and do it well.

And there you have it! If you find yourself falling into one of these 5 categories – I’ll tell you right now – Don’t even worry about it – The Branding Course is not for you.

However – for those of you still considering The Branding Course, there’s only one more week to wait! We’re opening the doors of Pageant Junkies University next THURSDAY (July 28th-31st) and we’ve just added a brand new bonus to our original offer…

The first 10 ladies who enroll in PJU during this special sale, will be invited to join me on a very special online “implementation workshop”. During this online workshop, I’ll be walking you through the EXACT STEPS of how to determine your Brand – Essentially giving you a “heads start” on the process. But this special offer is only available for the first 10 ladies who join PJU in July!

If you have any additional questions about The Branding Course from PJU – you can click here to see the full offer. 🙂

Until next week!

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

If you’d like to see more #ThursdayPosts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 18,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.