Every once in a while, it’s good to do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone…

For most of you reading this blog, pageantry is the thing that pushes you out of your comfort zone (and believe me – it does!). But even in pageants, after a while, everything can become a bit too familiar… a little ‘routine’… aka – ‘comfortable’.

Even here at Pageant Junkies, we know we have to kick ourselves in the butt sometimes to try something new. Otherwise, we run the risk of losing our most ardent fans to another pageant information source.

Therefore, today’s post is all about the reasons why you should get out of your comfort zone – and how you go about pursuing something you’re not sure you can handle… (By the way – I’m calling some of you out right now… Because “not being ready” – is NOT a good answer! And YOU are the exact person I’m writing this post for today!)

Ready – Set – HERE WE GO!!!

TRY SOMETHING NEW – EVEN IF YOU DON’T “GET IT”

At Pageant Junkies, we’ve made LOTS of moves to “try something new” without really even realizing it. At first, our social media pages were just re-purposing material from other state organizations that were already online. We thought more people needed to see what we saw, so we shared it, and gained a few thousand new fans in the process!

We also grew because we offered a POSITIVE alternative to every other pageant commentary source out there! While many online exchanges have grown to become more positive, when we first started, there was A LOT of ugly stuff being said online. We wanted to be different. We wanted to highlight the positive, downplay the gossip, and give the fans something they could love! Turns out – It worked!

Nearly 16,000 social media fans later – our “new approach” was viable and sustainable (WHOOOO HOOOOOO!) But to be honest, I’m not sure we fully understood what we were getting into when we started – LOL! And if we had, we may not have started in the first place!  That’s why “not knowing” is NOT a good reason, to “not start” (ugh – don’t tell my English teacher I just wrote that sentence). If you have an idea – but you don’t know where it’s going to go, try it anyway! Who knows where you may end up???

START – BUT DON’T STAY

Once we realized re-purposing information was getting a bit stale, we realized it was time to once again “try something new”.  That’s when we moved into producing our own content showcasing our love of the Miss America program. After that, we quickly moved into distributing our own content across various locations (different social media platforms, our own website, iTunes, etc). And then, we created a whole freaking new library of content for people who want to succeed in pageantry called, Pageant Junkies University.

It’s funny because our original intention wasn’t about creating our own content AT ALL!  However – we quickly realized that we needed to move in that direction thanks to the natural progression of “Start – But don’t Stay”.

Here’s the deal.  When we first launched the Facebook page, I don’t think I could’ve begun to imagine everything Junkies does now! And lots of people who “start” things, ended up “staying” because they think they need to perfect what they’ve started.

Honestly – once you start, you can’t stay. If you do, you won’t make it. You have to move beyond the starting blocks and push yourself to do more than what your original vision had to offer… or you’ll never succeed. But “starting” and “not staying” are just half the battle – In order to fully get out of your comfort zone, you need to do one more thing…

LISTEN TO YOUR GUT

Shortly after the website had launched and our Miss America predictions had taken place, I had someone ask me, “So… What’s next for Pageant Junkies?”

I answered in a very nonchalant fashion… Saying something pretty indecisive, along the lines of…

“Uh… Well – Actually, I don’t really know… I mean, I’ve had a couple of different ideas… But I’m not really sure which direction I should go in…”

Then, feeling as if I was letting my friend down by not having a “real answer” I said,

“You know – I’ve actually been thinking that maybe I should do a podcast. Which kinda sounds crazy… But honestly, I can’t come up with a good reason why I shouldn’t do a podcast, so I guess that means I should start one…”

Honest to God’s Truth. That is how the podcast was born – HA!

I can still remember this conversation as if it were yesterday! Frankly – I didn’t even realize I wanted to a podcast until I said it out loud! LOL! That’s what’s so crazy!… I heard the words come out of my mouth and they made sense – So I did it! LOL!

Listening to your gut can be hard. Especially when there are a lot of other people out there trying to tell you what to do (or what not to do). AND – it’s double hard when you’re looking to do something that nobody else is doing or has ever done before…

But the truth is, your gut usually knows more than your brain. Your brain can rationalize a decision (talk you into something or talk you out of something) – whereas your gut, is your true self. And if you ever find yourself in a position where your gut “says something” like mine did, I implore you – Trust it!

WHICH LEADS ME TO THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT…

Therefore, in light of today’s lecture, I’ve decided to kick myself in the butt and jump out of yet another Junkies comfort zone… In fact, you’re the first to hear/read/see what I’m about to say!

This weekend – I’ve decided to do something I’ve never done before.

I’m going to offer predictions for the Miss USA Pageant.

Am I a little freaked out about it? YES!

Am I a little overwhelmed at the idea of doing it in light of 46 Miss America state pageants taking place in 5 weeks? YES!

Am I doing it because I’m mad at the Miss America Organization and I want to bring more attention to Miss USA? NO!

I don’t think anyone can question my love for all things Miss America… And if you do, feel free to look at the years and years of posts I have extolling the virtues of what I belive this organization does for young women. The reason I’m doing this – is because I’m practicing what I preach. I’m kicking myself out of my comfort zone.

I might fall flat on my head. I might go 0/15. I might not even come close to picking the winner… Or… I might do ok this year – and get better at picking USA ladies in the future.

Lord only knows what will happen – But I’m prepared to take the leap into the unknown! Why? Because even though I have no idea where I’ll land (or where this is headed) – I know I won’t get anywhere different, until I take the first step.

Therefore – I ask those of you reading this blog today… What step do you need to take that pushes you out of your own comfort zone??? Whatever it is… There’s a great big, bright future ahead – But only if you’re willing to take the first step. 🙂

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

Every Thursday we offer a new post to the Pageant Junkies Nation. To see more Thursday Posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 16,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

For those of you who don’t know, I used to have short hair and a “real job” 🙂 LOL!

Right now, Pageant Junkies is my full-time gig (due to a semi-crazy set of circumstances – the details of which we shall save for a future posting). But prior to Junkies, I was kind of a corporate suit for a publicly traded company in the radio industry.

I was known for a couple of things in that job… Efficiency being one of them. Here’s what I mean…

I can walk into a brand new setting/office/operation, and I have the ability to cut through the crap, and see if something is really working or not. And where there’s a problem (as inevitably all businesses have), I can streamline what needs to be done and create a system where the chaos goes away (without losing the trust of the best employees).

Gosh… If only I could’ve done that for the Talent portion of my pageant 🙂

But back to the topic at hand…

It’s great when businesses run smoothly… However, do you ever feel like you need a more efficient system for your life?

IN THE BEGINNING…

Here’s what happens… We’re told to “dream big” and to “set big goals” and to “imagine the most awesome opportunity” to ever come our way. All of us have something we’d LOVE to do – something we’d be THRILLED to achieve – but the trouble is, we have no way of getting there.

Don’t get me wrong – Goals are great! You should have lots and lots of big goals in your life! But goals might as well be silly, childish playtime if you haven’t bothered putting together a system to help you get there.

For example, if your goal is to attend an Ivy League school – your “system” to get there would likely include many years of AP classes leading to a high GPA, studying for the SAT/ACT to make sure you get a strong score, working extremely hard on your extracurricular field of choice (volunteering, sports, the arts), preparing your application correctly, etc.

You see… You don’t just get into an Ivy League school because “you want to” — You need to follow a system in order to get there.

The same thing goes with pageants.

WHAT’S YOUR SYSTEM?

Most ladies know what title they want to achieve. Most ladies even imagine themselves serving in that position, waving to the crowd, walking down the runway with the crown on their head.

But what system do you have in place in order to make your dream become a reality?

To be successful in the Miss America program, you need to be well-rounded (Talent, Fitness, Gown, Interview, Social Media, Platform Issue, Fundraising, etc). That means, you should have not just one, but several different systems in place to help you succeed (or else you’re just living in organized chaos).

So – ask yourself…

What’s been your system for developing your talent? Rehearsing three times a week? Working with a vocal instructor/instrumental teacher/choreographer/etc every other week?

What’s your system for developing your fitness? Cardio 2 days, strength training 3 days, HIIT, tuna and veggies?

How about your system for exhibiting poise in evening wear?

What’s your system for growing your social media? Or strengthening your platform? Or improving your fundraising?

And the mother of them all… What is your system for improving your communication skills for your personal interview?

For some of you, there’s not much time left before your state pageant – which means, if you haven’t been operating with a system for each of those areas listed above, you’ve got a pretty short amount of time to create one (or several).

But the good news is…

IT’S NEVER TOO LATE.

Without a system (or a habit, or a routine), you’re just running around in circles, hoping to get better. And that’s an incredible waste of your time. You might as well be a rookie entering her very first pageant.

Just know that right now… Whatever patten you follow… Whatever routine you have… Whatever you are or aren’t doing to prepare for your next pageant… That’s your current system for success.

So, feel free to ask yourself – Is it good enough to win you your dream title? Or does something need to change?

Hmmm….

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

If you’d like to read more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

Do you consider yourself a “risk taker?”

Ask any Miss America winner if she had to take a risk at some point on her journey to winning the national title, and I’m guessing you’ll get plenty of “yes” votes!

Interestingly enough, sometimes the biggest risk any contestant takes isn’t necessarily in regards to their talent, wardrobe, or platform – No, it’s usually a bit bigger than that…

Usually, the biggest risk comes when you confront the person you think you “should be” in order to win the title, verses the person you currently “are” – and then requiring that you make a choice between the two.

Therein lies the real risk. Being willing to just be yourself.

WHAT DO PEOPLE SEE?

If you’re like me, you guard yourself on a pretty regular basis. You ‘manage’ how people see you and what they think about you… never letting them see too much of the stuff you’re not sure they’re going to like.

And you justify it because after all, you’re not lying. You’re not purposefully misleading people by being a “fake version” of yourself… You’re not intentionally trying to be someone you’re not… No… Instead – you’re only making efforts to hold certain parts of you back.

The funny thing is, people can tell when you hold back from them.

You might be able to impress a group of people for a short period of time – and you might be able to maintain your image long enough for a group of judges to think they know you. But the truth is, when the judges come in contact with a genuine, open spirit – Everything else looks like a façade.

SO – ARE YOU HOLDING BACK?

You’re “holding back” whenever there’s something you hope people DON’T discover about you.

Maybe you’re not sure how someone’s going to respond to one of your quirks or flaws, so you keep that part of your personality away from them. Or, you think you’re “not enough” because you don’t have it all together. To compensate, you do your best to showcase the GOOD STUFF about yourself (the stuff you happen to really like), hoping people don’t pry further to discover where you fall short.

Trust me, we’ve all been guilty of “holding back” at one time or another… But, here’s the deal. People can tell when you hold back from them. And even if one contestant, ONE WOMAN dares to be open and vulnerable during her private interview, nobody else will be able to hold a candle to her when she leaves the room.

The trick is…

BE THE ONE.

YOU be the one who is open – who isn’t afraid to let the judges see who you really are – warts and all (lol)! If you’re the ONE PERSON who’s comfortable with herself, ready to admit you don’t have all the answers but that you’re working towards improvement, it’s going to be awfully hard to deny you the crown.

The rest of the group will be busy trying to impress the judges with their knowledge on foreign policy, or pop-culture, or even obscure statistics about their platforms. Those girls will be subliminally telling the judges, “Look at this part of me! Aren’t I smart? Aren’t I witty? Can you believe how impressive I am?”

And that kind of white-washed propaganda will be super easy to spot when a genuine soul comes around.

THEREFORE – THE ANSWER IS…

Be Genuine. Be Authentic. Just Be You.

Trouble is, it’s not always easy being genuine. People might not approve of your choices. They may not understand your beliefs. Worse yet, they might disagree and think your opinion is flat out wrong.

And that’s the risk.

Now – this isn’t a ‘cart-blanch’ card for saying ANYTHING you want, ANY WAY you want, in your interview. You still need to make sure you’re being true to yourself while answering questions in a respectful and diplomatic way.

But guess what – Being true to you and being diplomatic aren’t mutually exclusive. They CAN co-exist! And the contestant who discovers the balance (usually through a great deal of practice), is the one who shines above the rest – guaranteed! 🙂

IN SUMMARY

Do know that it’s entirely possible that you don’t hold back – that you really go for it, and that you show the judges exactly who you are… Only to find out, they don’t approve.  I’m afraid this formula isn’t a free ticket to the crown – or to finishing in the top 5.

But I would ask you… Which is worse?

Showing all of who you are with grace and tact, then being rejected by 5/7 total strangers… Or showing 70% of who you are, and risk the chance that someone else showed 100% of themselves, thus earning the judge’s favor in the end?

Seems to me the real risk is not being willing to be yourself.

Warts and all…

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

If you’d like to read more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

If you’ve heard the cult favorite, “Everybody Says Don’t” from the Broadway musical, “Anyone Can Whistle” – Then you know what it’s like to break away from the crowd and have the courage to do what’s in your heart! In today’s blog, I decided to take a few of my favorite “Don’t Phrases” in order to help you remember a few key things in the weeks leading up to your state title.

Now, just to clarify – When “Junkies Say Don’t” – It’s not in an attempt to stifle your creativity or make you conform… Rather, we’re here to remind you that some “Don’ts” are good “Don’ts”… Oh dear – that is the strangest looking sentence I’ve typed in a long time… Hope you “don’t” hold it against me and know what I mean! LOL! Here we go!

DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

There are A LOT of “small things” that can easily take over any pageant contestant’s normal state of mind. The wrong earrings… there’s not enough fashion tape… your hair is suddenly doing strange things in the summer humidity… The list can go on and on and on. What’s important, is that you realize that NONE of that stuff, will keep you from winning. That’s right – NONE of what I just listed above is grounds for disqualification (unless you have a really significant wardrobe malfunction requiring A LOT more fashion tape than I’m assuming any one pageant contestant might actually need!)

Further – nearly everything I mentioned above can be achieved with a little help from a fellow contestant! In fact, once upon a thousand years ago, I was competing in a local pageant and accidentally forgot my interview suit (yes – we wore suits back then). Problem was, I didn’t even realize I’d left it hanging in my closet about 90 miles away until it was time to change for my private interview!

Turns out, one of the other contestants had something I could wear, and even though I didn’t think I’d even begin to fit into it, I made it work and lived to tell about it. And while I didn’t win that local, that’s when I realized my fellow contestants were actually friends – Friends who weren’t about to let me walk into an interview wearing a Sarah McLachlan t-shirt.  If that’s not enough reason not to sweat the small stuff, I don’t know what is…

DON’T CRY OVER SPILLED MILK

Let’s say you just handed in your paperwork and after going over it for the one-millionth time, you found a typo.  AAHHHH!  The Horror!  How Embarrassing!!!

What should you do next???

Here’s what you do… You Shake it Off. You Let it Go. I don’t care what your favorite personal forgiveness song is – Sing it loud and sing it proud – Then move along. 🙂

Why?

Honestly, because there’s nothing you can do it about it now. At this point, you pretty much have two options… You can either torture yourself about it – or you can let bygones by bygones.  And may I just say, everything that happens during pageant week will be a lot easier to tolerate if you let it go sooner than later. 🙂

Regardless of what it is… If you discover a mistake, or there’s something you wish you would’ve done differently but it’s too late to change it now – There’s no need to freak out and make yourself crazy. The milk has been spilled – the best thing to do is to get up and move on from here. Trust me – as a state titleholder, you’ll be in plenty of situations where things don’t work out as you planned. Might as well start practicing your adaptation skills now 🙂

DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY 🙂

I know, I know… There’s a lot to worry about when you participate in a pageant. Especially in interview. You’re trying to make sure you look the way you want to look – you sound the way you want to sound – and that the judges get a good understanding of who you are, even when they ask you a bunch crazy questions that you’ve never thought about before.

But worrying about these things and more, is NOT a good idea. Therefore, for every negative “What if” question you ask yourself (and subsequently freak yourself out about) – Take a moment and ask yourself a positive “What if” question!  For example…

NEGATIVE – “What if they ask me how I would solve the National Debt crisis?”

POSITIVE – “What if I’m so ready and prepared, that every single question they ask, is a question I can’t wait to hear???”

There’s a flip the script moment for you!

Honestly – Instead of panicking about all the awful things they could ask you – I would encourage you to change your way of thinking and consider all the AWESOME and AMAZING things that could happen in your interview!

When your mind dwells on the positive, you’ll be surprised how hard it is to worry.  Wanna know why? It’s because you’re too busy being happy! Huh – Funny how that works!?!

And there you have it! Remember – Just keep your “Good Don’ts” separated from your “Bad Don’ts” and you can easily have the time of your life during your state pageant!  Just “don’t” forward this post to your favorite English professor… I’ll likely never hear the end of it!

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

If you’d like to read more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one (which are much more grammatically correct than this one), just click here… 

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.

Hey Junkies!

During this time of year, I get always seem to get messages and emails from lots of ladies preparing for their state pageants. Interestingly, many of these emails and message contain the same basic questions, thoughts and concerns… So much so, that I’ve developed a name for these “feelings”…

I call them – “The Ugly C’s” of Pageantry – and they always seem to rear their nasty heads during the weeks leading up to a major pageant competition.

What are The Ugly C’s? Well – in short, The Ugly C’s are the negative voices inside your head…  Those thoughts that constantly cause you to doubt your own abilities and make you feel like someone who’s never going to be successful at anything… Yeah… Those are the Ugly C’s.

So today, I thought I’d write about The Ugly C’s. Once you check them out, you can determine if any of these little boogers have snuck into your line of thinking in recent weeks…

Ready…? OK – Here we go…

Comparing the Competition

Pageants are a funny thing… You’re there to do your personal best – however, it’s only human nature to look around and compare yourself to others who are also trying to do their best.

Let me start by saying, having a healthy sense of your own strengths and weaknesses is a great thing!  Frankly, I don’t think there’s enough of it in the world! I feel terrible for the people who audition for American Idol and have never had anyone tell them they can’t sing. 🙁 It’s ok for you to know you’re good at “chemistry” and not good at “water polo” or whatever.

It’s one thing to understand your strengths and weaknesses. But it’s quite another thing to constantly compare yourself to your fellow contestants on stage. Some are obvious comparison questions like, “Is my talent better than hers is?”

Others are a bit more subtle, such as – “Dang – Look at the way her dress moves on stage!”  Or…  “I bet she’s really good in interview… Maybe I should try to answer my on-stage question more like she did…”

Hear me when I say – All of these thoughts are nothing but a trap. Thoughts like these,  do nothing – and I repeat – NOTHING to improve YOU. In fact, comparing yourself to others contestants is the single quickest way to fall off your own game and spiral downward in a hurry!

If you find yourself playing the comparison game, the best thing to do is change your thoughts by reminding yourself what you did to get here. Take time to appreciate where you’ve come from and the hard work it took to get yourself to this point! That’s a totally different mindset than comparison – and I guarantee it will be a much more productive mindset when walking on the pageant stage.

Chasing Success by Changing Yourself

This one happens all the time… You watch someone else gain success for themselves, and you chase it.  Why? Because we want that same kind of success for ourselves! And if that’s how she got it – then, I should copy it, right?!?

Trouble is, when you chase someone else’s success, you change who you are. And walking on a pageant stage trying to be someone you’re not, is going to end with nothing but disappointment.

Lots of ladies “Chase and Change” every year – And most of them don’t even know they’re doing it…

Don’t get me wrong – Chasing and Changing is the easiest thing to do in a pageant! Trust me – it’s MUCH harder to stand up in front of the judges, show them who you truly are, and risk being rejected for it!  That’s Tough!

But just because being true to yourself is the harder road – it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t  do it.

Therefore, instead of Chasing and Changing, why not challenge yourself to be one of the few contestants who doesn’t fall into the trap. Be True to You. Try to win as Yourself – Not as a fake version of who you think the judges are looking for. You are worthy of the win – when you are willing to be yourself. 🙂

Caught up and Consumed

Ugh. If I had a nickel for every young woman who gets “caught up and consumed” by pageantry!

Ladies… If you find yourself riding the roller-coaster of emotions more often than you would prefer – You’re Caught up and Consumed.

“But Carrie! You have no idea what people in my state are saying about me! They’re spreading these awful rumors – and my talent costume doesn’t fit – and I can’t find the right jewelry for interview – and I just found out I need a black cocktail dress for state – and all my favorite protein bars are sold out – And my boyfriend and I just had a huge fight – and I’M OUT OF EYELASH GLUE…”  AAAAHHHHH!!!

Look. It’s ok to have a few hours (or a day) when you experience a mini-breakdown. But if your “few hours” turns into “every other day” – You are officially Caught up and Consumed and it’s time for a reality check.

News-Flash! Pageants are supposed to be FUN! In fact, lots of ladies describe their state pageant week like it’s like Summer Camp for college girls! You don’t have to be “stressed out” now – or going into your state pageant! In fact, it’s actually possible to have the time of your life during state pageant week – and make amazing memories that will last forever!

If you find yourself Caught up and Consumed – Stop. Breathe. Realize there is a whole lot more going on in the world than butt glue and hairspray. Truth is, the rest of the world will still be turning long after your butt glue and hairspray days are over. Take a moment to chill out, find a way to center yourself, and look at the big picture.

Crisis of Confidence

Look – your pageant years are tough. They’re some of the most formative years of your life in general, and then you put yourself out there on a pageant stage to be judged by 5-7 complete strangers, who see you for… What, like a total of 14.5 minutes?

It’s ok to have moments of self-doubt. We all do from time to time. But if you find yourself constantly thinking things like, “I’m not good enough this year…” or “I’m just not ready…” or “I don’t belong here with all these other ladies who are so much more put together than I am…” – Then it’s time to re-program your brain.

Whenever you find yourself thinking something negative about yourself, you need to change the conversation in your own head. Give yourself a pep talk! More than that – tell the chick in your head to shut up and listen to the following sentence:

I can.  And I will.

Those 2 phrases will silence the critics in your head in a heartbeat and completely re-focus your thoughts to ones that are more positive. We’re all our own biggest critics – But you know what? You should also be your biggest cheerleader too! The next time you have a Crisis of Confidence, remind yourself that you can – and you will.

And there you have it! The Ugly C’s of Pageantry – And a whole host of ways to spot them, and stop them!

It’s my hope that you have the BEST WEEK OF YOUR LIFE during your state pageant! The more excited and happy/relaxed you are during your state pageant – The more likely you are to perform well! And nothing would make me happier than knowing everyone in the Junkie Nation had a wonderful state week, worthy of remembering forever!

Until next week!

#BigJunkieLove

Carrie Lakey

If you’d like to see more #ThursdayBlogDay posts like this one, just click here…

Carrie Lakey is kind of obsessed with Miss America…
So are 15,000 of her closest friends.

As an avid fan of the Miss America Organization, Carrie began
publicly predicting pageant winners over 10 years ago.
Now, she’s galvanizing an online movement of fans
known as “Pageant Junkies”.
Learn more about the Junkie Nation
by clicking here.